. . . Words With No Name !!! . . .

well, since couple of days i was thinking of something, that made me write these words. they might make no sence to some people, but to me they do, they reflect little bit of what im trying to say. anyhow, this is the poem, am still thinking of a name or a title:

I've tried my best
Gone east and west
And passed a million test
Of my self, I was in quest
Do you still think
I'm like the rest

Have you ever been in my shoes?
When you have no right to accept or refuse
When you just want to be your self
But they still accuse
That I'm not what they want
And to them I was just an amuse

They seek perfection, you seek it all
They can not hear or see
Between their lashes there is a wall
Like a God, they judge me
Do you know that someday you will fall?
I'll see you fall and burn in hell
And there is no body for you to call
Maybe then you'll appreciate me
And beg me to rescue your soul
Guess what? I won't

On your grave, I want to see the board
To see and smile for the word
To read "Rest In Peace"
Then my fire might cease
I'll make you pay back, pay back the fees
Falling down on your knees
Begging me saying please
Crying hell bloody tears
Make you taste how it feels
To live a little of my fears

Fears of lost personality
Fears of lost humanity
Fears of lost integrity
Fears of lost identity
Fears of loosing me


Of your self you're so proud
Judging and calling names in the face
And I thought it would be a phase
But you still walk around
Looking down at people
Hating this color and race
For minorities you want to erase

Do you still want to talk about grace?
Do you think you can run away with no trace?
Well, read my lips,
It's my turn to express
For you there is no space
The devil in you I'll suppress
Now I have my own voice and place

All these years I've been in a cage
Wearing masks, hiding from the shade
And I was boiling having a rage
For my self I was afraid to fade
All I wanted was freedom on a page
So that history can be made
But guess you were afraid
With my honesty I'd be sharp like a blade
I gave you everything,
For my dues I paid

I see my name
Written on a gate
There's no more to blame
So I will stop the hate
I will quit the game
I will write the date
The birth of my fame
The fame of being me
Hope it's not too late
Cause now it's my time, its my turn
Do you doubt my fate?
Huh
Bet you want to do the same
To be your self, just your self
So remember my name!

الابتسامة

This time im writting my article in Arabic :)

اتصل بي أحد الأصدقاء يوم الأربعاء مقـتـرحا السفر إلى البحرين لقضاء عطلة نهاية الأسبوع في الشهر الحالي ، خاصة أن أحد الخطوط الجوية "التجارية" مقدمة عروضا خاصه لفترة محدوده ، فكرت بالموضوع و قلت لما لا ، بما أنني لم أذهب إلى البحرين من قبل ، بالرغم من قربها للكويت . فاتفقنا على الذهاب إلى المطار للحجز مباشرة من هناك لأن الحجز عن طريق الانترنت و

الهاتف معطل ، و كان الاتفاق على الساعة الثالثة و النصف عصرا تقريبا

وصلت إلى المطار حوالي الساعة الثالثة و العشرين دقيقة و بعدي بخمسة دقائق وصل صديقي ، و إذا بأمة لا إله إلا الله مجتمعة و متجمعة للحجز و الحصول على العروض المقدمة من هذه الخطوط ، و لطبيعة العروض الخاصة ، فإن طبقة معينة و فئات معينة كانت الغالبية العظمى من الناس المنتظرة ، استغفر الله ، لا أعني التقليل أو ما شابه بخلق الله ، و لكن طبيعة الناس تختلف ، و بالتحديد سواء بالتصرفات ، الأخلاق ، و طبيعة المعاملة

كان هناك أربعة صفوف للإنتظار ، واحد منها مخصص للنساء و ذلك للتنسيق لا أكثر ، قررنا الوقوف بالصف الأسرع ظاهريا ، و لكن بعد ساعتين من الانتظار اكتشفت ان الصف لا يتحرك بأي شكل من الأشكال ، و ذلك لسوؤ التنظيم من قبل رجال الأمن التابعين للخطوط نفسها

لاحظت من مسافة بعيدة كيفية تعامل الناس مع موظفين الحجوزات ، اسلوب يفــتــقر لأبسط أنواع الاحترام و الأدب ، و لا أنسى طبعا لغة الجسد و أصابع اليدين أثناء التحدث ، و تعابير الوجه على موظفات الحجوزات تعبر كل التعبير على الاستياء و عدم الراحه و الغضب أيضا للوضع

لا أنكر تضايقي الشخصي لعدم سير الصف و عدم تحركه منذ انتظاري بساعتين ، و بالرغم من محاولاتنا أنا و صديقي و التحدث مع أكثر من شخص بالهاتف لمساعدتنا للحجز من خلال الانترنت ، لكنها باءت بالفشل ، فما كان بنا إلا الانتظار أكثر و أكثر ، و لكن مع الوضع الحاصل هناك ، و تدخين البعض للسجائر النتنة وسط الزحمة و انتشار لوحات "عدم التدخين " الكبيرة و ضرب البعض للبعض بقصد الوقوف و الانتظار ، إلا أن الانتظار كان مستحيل

طلبت من صديقي الانتظار ، سألني لماذا ، قلت هي دقائق قليلة سأحاول شئ و آتي ، قال فليكن

فذهبت إلى موظفه واقفة وراء المكتب تقوم بالعمل على حجز تذكرة لعجوز على كرسي متحرك ، و أثناء انتظاري للحصول على فرصة للتحدث إليها قمت برسم ابتسامة بسيطة على وجهي و بعد ثواني انتبهت لوجودي ، فقلت لها " آسف على الازعاج ، إنني أعلم بانشغالكم و الله يعطيكم العافية ، لكن عندي استفسار بسيط ، منذ ساعتين و نحن ننتظرو الصف لا يتحركو الصفوف الأخرى تتحرك أسرع ، فرجاءا لو مافيها ازعاج تبليغ رجال الأمن بالنظام و الانصاف بالترتيب ، ليحصل كل واحد منه على فرصة للوصول لكم ، و الله يعطيج العافيه" قلت لها هذه الكلمات و هي تنصت إلي بنتباه ، فسألتني أين هو مكاني ، فأجبتها ، فقالت "شكرا ، لو سمحت انتظر مكانك " قلت حسنا و رجعت

و إذا بها تصرخ على الناس لعدم انتظامهم و اسلوبهم ، و من ثم تأت إلي مبتسمه و بكل هدوء و تقول لي " كم تذكره تريدون؟؟و إلى أين و أي تاريخ ؟ " فأجبتها

فإذا بها تسجل ما قلت ، تنظر إلي و تطلب مني الانتظار لأنها ستساعدني

استغرب صديقي للوضع و انا أيضا ، لأنني لم أطلب منها المساعده ،

فاتصلت بي لـتأكد الحجز ، فقالت الحجز جاهز ، الرجاء التوجه للبنك لدفع المبلغ المطلوب

ابتسمت لها و شكرتها فقالت لا شكر على واجب

بالرغم من إنني لا أحب التعدي على القانون و البشر إلا أنني لا أنكر سعادتي عندما ساعدتني ، و عندما سألت نفسي لماذا ساعدتني ، عرفت الإجابه من تلقاء نفسي

ببساطه شديده التقدير ، لا يوجد أحلى من تقديرالناس للشخص و عمله و شكرهم لذلك

و طريقة التعامل

ان ابتسامة صغيرة و كلمة تعبر على الشكر و الثناء لعمل شخص تذيب أقسى شخص وسط عمله ، بالذات إذا كان الشخص يعمل بمحيط يختلف عن الاسلوب المحترم المتعارف عليه

موضوع الاحترام و التقدير يطول شرحه و لنا للموضوع بقية

:) ،

The All Time Pleasure !!!

woke up at evening time, craving for something sweet

nothing on my mind, but for my self to treat

im not hungry, so nothing will do, no chicken no meat

but yet im searching for something to eat

something good for cold winter or summer heat

ofcourse, nothing like chocolate would be neat

so for different kinds i was searching and i will eat :)

chocolate is the taste of heaven, if i can say it this way, nothing would be better after a meal, mid day, mid night, in the afternoons, or in a crowded nights. something you can have if you're hungry, if you're angry, if you're happy, if you're in love, if you're sad, if you're mad, if you were feeling blue, and even if you were feeling down and have no clue.

You could have it plain, that is dark, you can have it with milk, hazelnuts, nuts, caramel, crispy rice, praline, mint, honey, orange, strawberry, raisins, almonds, spices, biscuit, cinnamon, cardamom, and the list goes on.

And because it all depends on my mood, i wanted to know the history of chocolate, so i surfed the net, and found couple of sites that talk about chocolate, here is one site that i enjoyed reading:

http://www.fieldmuseum.org/chocolate/history.html

and another brief site is this:

http://inventors.about.com/library/inventors/blchocolate.htm

anyhow, my favorite chocolate, is with praline, they are tasty, BIG TIME.

we can not forget that chocolate does have good health effects, but if eaten in moderation. and they can make good gifts for certain occasions.

i dont want to talk more about chocolate, cause my chocolate bar is already waiting for me, i got to go. so live your life and have a piece of chocolate ;) the all time pleasure !

"GMS" ???

With No Offence:

the following article is of a very deep complicated nature. So those who are NOT interested, and i mean it, in psychology, please just simply go to the next article. cause this is a specific deep subject that needs a little bit extra of your attention, simply to keep track of what im saying. Enjoy it.

There are some subjects or matters that always got my attention, or me made think of them whenever i come accross a social or work related incident. Some are like body language, facial expresion, first impresion, communication skills, and public relations.

but on top of them all, there is another subject that i find interesting, sometimes it even pisses me of, excuse my language !.

im talking about standards. we all have different standards in every field, sector, behaviour, attitude, mentality, or, again, an incident!!!

what might be wrong for me, might be right for you, what seems wrong for you, could seem right for me, and we could share the same point of view because simply we kindda have similar standards, and maybe in that specific subject only !!!

first of all, reading from different sources and dictionaries, i can simply define standards as:

"the quantitative or qualitative points, limits, levels, or degrees required

to reach the minimum satisfaction and/or acceptance".

here i would like to discuss the social related standards only.

why am i writting this ?

because latelly i found out there are some little actions for which people have wide and huge differences when it comes to standard. and believe it or not, these differences of standards about certain little topics do have a role in:

1-The social chemistry between people

and 2-The attitude of anyone's personality.

an example for that: People who accept the idea of drinking alcohol and/or do drink alcohol you find them going together, maybe in certain occasions only, because each one of them share the same standard when it comes to drinking.

so -1- they do have chemistry, thats why they're together, and -2- you will find each one of them have a certain prospect about life in general, and thats their attitude !

but drinking is not the subject now, and neither want to put it on the list of standards.

I started thinking, thinking and thinking !!! and i came up wiht this term:

"The Global Minimum Standards"

(GMS)

and i would define this term by: " the minimum of an internationally well known standard that would be common wherever you go in the world in every subject ".

So what you, in Kuwait, think is wrong, your friend would think the same, the guy brushing the great wall of China would think its also wrong, and the man having coffee in Starbucks Times Square in New York would also agree with you and find it wrong. because then we all would have a " GMS " in that specific whatever subject that makes us think its wrong.

A well known action that can be placed under GMS is greetings. That is if you were walking somewhere in Kuwait, saw someone infront of you, had a smile on your face and said "Good morning" or "hi" than normal reaction would be that someone is replying back. so if that someone did not answer you back, that would be impolite.

So regardeless of your back ground, religion, color, race, sex, or mentality, once you found out that someone did not reply back to your greetings (on purpose) you would find this action impolite.

The action of NOT replying a greeting is impolite wherever you go in the world. so this is considered GMS.

Saying a greeting and waiting for a reply was just a real event of daily life that i brought up as a good example of GMS.

ok, now after, i think, made my point of GMS. im going to spend sometime on what are the social GMS ? what are the actions that we can NOT consider correct or right due to the social GMS. but that would be in some other time and article :)

If the article wasnt looking neat, trust me i did my best to make it look good !!!

The Dark Room !

I saw my self again standing infront of that black door with its same old golden knob. whenever i hear, see, or remember something i find my self comming back to this room, while i try my best not to do so ! Its been a while for me since i last visited this place.

As i opened the door, i could feel the time that passed and the dust on the ground, nothing but the light rays from my back making my way to the inside of the room, showing me my favorite wooden arm chair. I stepped in, leaving the door behind me almost closed just to make me barelly see whats inside the room. I dont like to switch on the lights inhere. i like it dark. ofcourse and quiet. i took a deep breath, looked around, patted the arm chair to remove the dust, and had my seat.

Shelves made of steel are all over the the walls of the room. half of them are empty and nothing to hold, while the other half, has lots of stuff, mainly boxes, different colors and sizes. from the many many boxes, I was able to see a blue box with a little title tag that says "University", another gray one that says "High School", a third box my eyes fell on was with a title of "Old Friends", and another one beside it "Friends".

My eyes kept on moving on the same shelf. and then i noticed a multi colored box with my name written on it by hand. and i thought "why the hell have i kept it there?" it wasnt in its right place. i dont even remember whats in it. so i pulled the box, went back to my chair, moved the dust on the cover of the box, and opened it.

strange ....... as i was opening the box, those words crossed my mind:

" Viva Forever, I'll be waiting, Everlasting, Like the sun, Live Forever,

For the moment, Ever searching, for the world"

there were pictures of my self in different age stagies, pictures of my family, some post cards of different places, some old candies, an old gift wrap, untitled CD, a little hand made wooden box, a small silver spoon, a china mug, old money paper and some coins, and a small silver pendant.

Godness, so many things inhere, and they're not in their right places. but i can tell each has a story, each rings a bell. again words crossed my mind, i can hear it saying :

" But we're all alone, was it just a dream, Feelings untold,

They will never be sold, And the secrets safe with me"

i brushed away the words i hear, focused my attention on the things infront of me, "i have to re-arrange them in their correct places, but some will remain inhere" i thought.

i didnt feel like going through the stories of each item inhere, so i placed them back, and closed the box. its still on my lap.

started looking around. but again i thought: "what was the reason that made me come here?"

i still can smell the dust ! while my eyes fell on different sizes of boxes, some were white the others were black, beside each other ! i blushed as a smile was making its own way on my face.

took a deep breath, grapped the box and placed it on a different shelf, just near my arm chair.

stood in the middle of the room, had a last look just before i leave, and there i heard the words again:

"Do you still remember, how we used to be, Feeling together,

believe in whatever, My love has said to me"

i walked to the door, opened it, but made sure i wont open it all the way, i dont want the light to get in. Stepped out of the room. Pulled the door to close it, and just before i do, i entered my head to have a last glance inside. my smile was still there. i pulled my head out, closed the door and locked it.

Godness, the words wouldn't stop :

" Yes I still remember, every whispered word, The touch of your skin,

giving life from within, Like a love song that I've heard"

ohh yeah, i do rememeber these words, they're "Viva forever" song words for Spice girls. i used to love this song, guess i still do. walked away from that room, walked so far that i wasnt able to see it anymore. i dont think i want to stay close to my room, to my "dark room" !!!

Freedom !!!

as the 23rd of October was the first day of Eid Al-fetir ,after fasting the holy month of Ramadan, it is part of the culture in Kuwait and the Arab world to do their social duties, that is by visiting family members,friends, gatherring for a feast, discussing different topics, and ofcourse not to forget going to "dewaniyas", thats psrt of the Kuwaiti culture.
As we were talking, discussing, and having different point of views in different topis and subjects, the subject of "freedom" was there. i had a smile on my face :)
i was thinking about freedom couple of days ago and thinking of those people who seek freedom, ofcourse they're seeking the freedom of speech, in my definition that is to say whatever you want to say as long as they are not insulting any person, religion, color, or race.
i think this should be re-thought !!!
why ?
simply, before we start thinking of having the right and freedom to say whatever we want, lets have first the freedom to see, hear, or read whatever we want !

yes, we lack the simplest degrees of freedom, which i thought of calling it,
the "Freedom of Knowledge" !!!

why am i saying this ??? due to different incidents that happend in the kindda similar timmings.
a friend of mine went to buy ,from a "well known" music store, the latest album for the artist Justin Temberlake, he is an American pop singer. the staff told him that all the albums were withdrawn from the market. why ?!?!?!? because the album has a song by the name of "Sexy Back" !!! well DUH !!! it doesnt mean that Justin doing porno !!!! but again, their reason was because of the word "sexy" !!!! and the radio station FM 99.7 keeps on playing it but i can not buy it legally from the market !!!

so Number 1 : this simply indicates, that I, as a human being, dont have the freedom to listen to what i want to.

went to a "well known" library and a book shop like 6 months ago seeking a good book for sexualy transmited diseases (STDs) for work related reasons.
you know those little books that talk about something specific, usually have the title of "The guide to ...." or "Your source for ...." , so i was looking for something similar. And there was my shock, there is no book that is dedicated directlly for STDs available in Kuwait, they are usually within another kind or sort of books ! when i asked for the reason, it was because they're not allowed !!!
ofcourse i dont have to mention that the case is not only about STDs related books, but there are many many books about history, politics, islam, origins of families, and some well known novels that are not allowed in Kuwait,
while on the other hand, i saw it with my own eyes in another "well known" book shop, many books about "Budhism" and "how to practice budhism" on display !!!
i personally dont have anything against budhists, but i thought such books should be forbiden as well !!! IF we were thinking logically !!!

so Number 2 : i dont have the freedom to read what i want !!!

logged to the internet, was searching for a specific politics related information, found a news channel, and there it was, no, not the channel, the block sign from the internet providing service (IPS) company !! as a result i was not able to log into the site of that channel !!!
i was talking to my sister the day after about the same subject, and she said that a fashion and style website was blocked as well !!! ofcourse, not to forget that there are many movies and series, arabic and english, that are not allowed to be shown on alot of arabic TV channels due to political reasons !!!

so Number 3 : i dont have the freedom to view or see whatever i want !!!

from numbers 1, 2, and 3,
do you think we have the simplest degrees of freedom ? as the freedom of knowledge ???
I dont think so.
so before seeking the freedom of speech, lets seek the freedom of knowledge !!! the freedom that is related to all of my senses, except my mouth !!! I want the freedom to see, read, and listen to what ever i want !!!

and if, that is only IF we had the freedom of speech, i know alot will mis-behave and mis-use it !!!

having a blog !

well, this is my the very first post i have on my very first blog page !
as i was talking to a good friend of mine (ZZ) at work last Wednesday, she suddenly asked me if i have a blog? and i went like "uhhh, no!", so i asked the reason why she was asking, so she said "i think you need to have one, my friends were asking me if you do have a blog?" so i thought about it, went online, searched about blogs, that i always heard about but never had the chance or care to have one. but guess now its gonna be one of my favorite hobbies :D